Change, Honesty, and Idiocy

I came to a realization this past weekend. It wasn't one of those moments where I felt brazen enough to scream "I'm a fucking genius!" - but it was one of those moments where I learned to let go a bit.

As a new-ish Mom, I'm super sensitive to what people say about my kids. When people ask "what are you feeding this kid?!? He's HUGE!" I tend to get defensive because, well, Ori looks like a normal 3-month-old...with a large head (for real, Capt. Cranium -  just like his big brother). I know people aren't saying things to be rude but it's still pretty annoying. 

After that question sunk in a bit, I realized that I'm sick of reading all these articles that try to 'educate' people on what not to say. This is when the realization hit. I came to the conclusion that I can't stop the idiocy that pops out of their mouths but I can change how it makes me feel. 

Change the Conversation

"What?!?" 

Whenever someone says "just wait until they're older - they'll runs circles around you!" I can turn it around and say "I can't wait for that day!!" When someone asks "what are you feeding this kid?" I'm going to say "growth hormones". When someone asks "don't you think you should put a hat on your baby - he's cold!" I'll tell them that he's not cold because he's really dressed as warmly as a polar bear. And he doesn't like hats. For real, he doesn't. I've tried - he cries. It's not worth the fight with either of my kids. 

So, rather than educate people on what not to say (because, let's be honest, they aren't the ones reading those articles - we are...and we get the idea of what not to say), I'm making the decision to not care and not let it get to me. 

Be Honest

This is what "quality time" looks like!

The next time I'm pregnant, and people want to touch my belly - I'll let them because feeling a baby kick is one of the coolest experiences in the world. The next time I'm pregnant and someone asks "are you sure you're not having twins?" I'll say "No, but I wish I was - how cool would THAT be?!" (Better that than saying "No, thanks for making me feel like a whale" - even though that was a close second option.) 

I'm also going to be honest. When someone says "Wow, you look tired!" I'll say "I am - but that's because I was too busy spending quality time with my kids ... at 3AM." Some call it 'fussiness', I'm going to call it "quality time". 

Change Your Perception

It's all about perception, people. Don't let someone else make you feel like shit - especially if you know they didn't mean to. Seriously, don't let their words hurt you. You can't change them but you can change how you perceive their words. So, change your perception and realize that you're the only smart one in a sea of idiots.

Why Interviews are like Dating

Happy holidays, y'all! I was going to write about Chanukkah gifts today but I'd rather write about something else: the similarities between interviews and dating.

Yesterday I had two interviews. They were both incredibly different in many ways but it reminded me of the days when I was on Jdate.com searching for a nice Jewish husband.

11 Tips for interviewing. Courtesy: Boston.com

When you go on a date you get all dressed to impressed, right? Well, don't you do the same thing for an interview? You dress nicely, make yourself smell better than usual, and you do your hair nicely (maybe some makeup too?) for both a date AND an interview.

When you go on a first date, sometimes it leads to a second date where you relax a bit, show a bit more of yourself to someone. Sometimes that first interview leads to a second where you also relax a bit more and let people get to know you. Still, the amount of first dates and first interviews that amounted to nothing are greater than the ones that resulted in second dates and second interviews.

On a date, there are certain things you try not to talk about: religion, sex, and money. During an interview, there are also topics not open for discussion: family, money, and religion.

See the similarities so far?

Tips on what NOT to talk about on a date. Courtesy: Oprah.com

Here's another one... the "I" factor. When you're going on dates, we have a tendency to sound a little self-absorbed because, well, you have to! The person across from you needs to get to know YOU. The same goes for an interview. They have this sheet of paper that talks all about YOU and then you sit and talk all about you. The "I" factor is amazing in both scenarios because before you can become part of a 'we' they need to get to know you.

There are a lot of sites out there that tell you what to do in an interview (or a date!) and what not to do but I have some friendly advice for you: be yourself. Just like dating, there's a match for you when it comes to employment. If they don't like you, then you shouldn't want to work there. Be yourself and if they don't like it, f*ck 'em. That works in dating, as well!

Gratitude Challenge - Blog Hop

OK, before I dive into the blog hop stuff, I promised you - my dear readers - that I would document everything I am grateful for. I promise, it won't be silly things like "I'm so grateful for coffee" even though, right now, I AM really grateful for coffee. I got up really early, thanks to Yoav (and Sparky dog), but that early time meant I cleaned the floors, brought in laundry from the line (that's right! We don't have a dryer), put some more laundry to go in the washing machine, AND I still had time to make my blessed coffee. 

And on to some REAL gratitude...

• I am grateful that last night, as my husband studied for his exam, I got some quiet time to do some work. 
• I am grateful for the foresight I had to cook a kilo of chicken in advance and freeze it - dinner was a breeze last night.
• I am grateful to my brother-in-law for posting so many pictures of my niece and nephews - I miss them - and it reminds me that I'll get to see them in just over a month.
• I'm grateful for my job because I work in a company where the higher-ups still ask for your advice on personal matters like vacation spots to go to and yummy food to eat when dieting (truth!!). 
•  I am grateful to Cecil dog who just wanted to cuddle with me last night.

                  Source: childhood101.com via Kris on Pinterest

I'm also grateful for Karma Media for sending me some cool things to review. Now on to the blog hop...

Welcome to Around the Blogosphere, hosted by Karma Media!

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The purpose of this hop is to help promote each others:

• Giveaways
• Blogger Opps
• Reviews
• Affiliate Links
• Blogger Groups
• Book Tours
• Other Hops/Linkies

All submissions must be family friendly and cannot promote intolerance or hate. Enter your links below, there is no limit to how many you can submit. All we ask for in return is to share or promote this hop, hey it helps you too, remember!!

Giveaways Blogger Opps Reviews Affiliate Links Blogger Groups Book Tours Hops/Linkies

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Taxes and Negative Sh*t

I'm normally a VERY happy person but c'mon chevre (friends) - I can't be happy ALL THE TIME! I live in an odd paradise where it's sunny and warm for 70% of the year and just sunny 80% of the year - can't be bad, right? Well, as infuriating as this country can be, it also has something that is lacking in some parts of the US - FRIENDLINESS!

For the past seven weeks, I've been trying to get my taxes done through my accountant back home. That's right, seven weeks. That's how long it took her to get back to me to say "Sorry, I can't do it". She led me on for seven weeks. She said my taxes are "too complicated" ... so I turned to a nice New Yorker here in Israel. (He may not actually be from New York but he sounds like it) His name is David Brand and he's an awesome accountant. He did what my accountant was supposed to do in only 10 minutes. I spent 10 minutes with him on the phone and my taxes were basically done. I also asked if my taxes were hard and he said "not at all!" Apparently, since I don't own any property, have less than $10,000 in my bank account, and have no investments - my taxes were easy! Plus, I filed as married but separate.

After the balagan (think: mess) with my taxes was finished, I returned to my happy place and Yoav gave me a little reminder that even when I feel horrible and I feel like all I do is f*ck up, he's there to remind me that I did something right with my life.

In truth, yesterday was a hard day. Yoav was sick all day, our landlord had someone come look at the apartment (which meant I had to clean - like REALLY clean), and I had the I Love Myself Project to worry about. It was hectic! My day was filled with meetings and I wasn't even at the Optimax office! Yeah, I felt guilty about taking the day off but Yoav was sick and couldn't go to daycare. With no one to watch him, I had no choice.

Every once in a while, the negative thoughts creep in and here's how I handle it...

It's the truth ... and also kinda funny

                                                                            Source: Uploaded by user via Jeanette on Pinterest

• I repeat "I am not a f*ck up" several times
• I look for alcohol ... only to realize we don't really keep it in the house
• I look for chocolate ... and eat yogurt instead because don't really keep chocolate in the house either

But, for real, I repeat "I'm doing the best I can do today" over and over again - several times a day. If I let someone down, it happens. I'm not perfect. Sometimes a little yehiyeh beseder (it's all good) goes a long way for me.

What do you do to remind yourself that everything will be OK in the end?

                                                                  Source: spirituallythinking.blogspot.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Since it's Thankful Thursday, here are three things I'm grateful for today...

• My new "project" at Optimax - I get to solve marketing problems and organize sh*t
• Craig's patience - he's busy as hell right now and he's still patient with me
• My parents - they almost always take my phone calls just so I can tell them how I didn't screw up that day

What are you grateful for today?

Welcome to the World

It's been a while since I posted something personal but I have a good reason .... I had a baby!! Allow me to introduce Yoav Rubin Glaser. Our son was born on February 2nd, 2012 via C-Section after 55+ hours in labor. Isn't he cute??

I love Kermit the Frog!

Go Blue!

Yoav is already a half-month old and he doesn't even look like he did when these pictures were taken. It's insane how different he looks every day. So, ready for his birth story?

On January 29th, I went in for a routine weekly OB/GYN check up. After another fetal monitor and blood pressure check, I was sent to my doctor so he could see the results. The verdict: go to the hospital ASAP! Apparently, I was experiencing hypertension and he wanted the hospital to induce labor. So, off we went.

At the hospital's pregnancy ER, I underwent another fetal monitor exam and blood pressure check up. I was asked if I was experiencing any headaches, blurry vision, or tummy pain. The answer: I have a sinus headache from the rain. So, off I went to the regular ER where I waited an hour to see a neurologist. In my opinion, if you make someone wait an hour to see a neurologist, they may as well be dead. If I had any real neurological issues, like a stroke or something, I would have died waiting to see someone. Yet, she gave me a clean bill of health and even wrote out that I know a sinus headache when I feel one. She then sent me to the ophthalmologist to make sure everything was OK before sending me back to the pregnancy ER. The verdict: I was A-OK in the head and eyes.

After realizing that I was OK, the doctor on staff said he'd like to admit me to the high risk ward and he was recommending inducing me. Why the recommendation? Because he doesn't have the authority to decide if I should be induced. Nearly 18 hours later, I was told by a doctor I was being induced. The problem? I was having my own contractions and they wanted to wait and see if something happened naturally. Another 15 hours went by before they gave me my first dose of pge2 (the induction pill). I have never felt pain like this before!! It got really bad and then it stopped. Since my contractions were so bad, the doctors decided not to give me another dose of pge2 eight hours after the first dose. They thought my cervix would dilate on its own. It didn't. My contractions stopped. I was given the second dose over 24 hours after the first one. It did nothing. Eight hours after that, I was given a third dose. That did nothing, too. Then I started contracting on my own, again. And quite badly.

The big problem? I wasn't dilating. After three doses of pge2, nothing was happening!! The next day, a doctor that I refer to as Dr. Nice Guy came by and told me that he wanted to try dilating me using a balloon. At this point I was in tears because I had been examined vaginally so many times that I was in physical pain from my auto immune disease. Plus, as a survivor of sexual assault and rape, I don't exactly want someone I don't know touching me. I clam up. At one point, one examination was so bad and painful that I cried uncontrollably for an hour into Craig's chest and he made it very clear to the nurses that this doctor is NEVER to come near me again. I was then given a sedative and I drifted off to sleep.

Anyway, after two failed balloon attempts, Dr. Nice Guy went to speak to the head physician (the Dean) and I was told they were going to send me to labor and delivery where I'd be given Pitocin and an epidural! Once the epidural kicked in, I don't remember much else about that day. I slept a lot. At some point, another doctor came in with Dr. Nice Guy and I was given two options: give the Pitocin another two hours to see if I dilate or have a C-Section. After about five minutes of discussion, I told them to get the kid out of me. Another two hours of Pitocin wasn't going to do anything since I was no more dilated five days into my hospital stay than I was when I walked into the hospital.

At 8:35pm, on February 2nd, I gave birth to a very loud little boy. The next day, he was taken to the NICU for jaundice. The nightmare continued. He was there for five days and they were the longest five days of my life. The State of Israel takes this stuff VERY seriously- especially since it was my blood that caused the issue. We have an ABO blood incompatibility. By February 7th (the day I was supposed to deliver ... and a day after my parents arrived), we took our gorgeous little boy home. He's been given a clean bill of health by the Dean of the NICU and by his pediatrician!

Kvetching and Baby Gift Ideas

We're gearing up for the baby around here. It's insane! I've had several conversations with my sister this week (she's also pregnant!!) and she's given me insight into things I need vs. things I can do without. She told me that unless I want to do laundry every day (which I'm likely to do anyway), get something called a sheet saver. I googled it and it turns out, I can make one on my own. DIY is way more my style anyway. It's essentially a bathroom hand-towel or smaller bath towel that you place over the sheet to keep spit up  and accidents from spreading to the sheet. Oddly enough, about a month ago, my Mom told me about something similar she made when we were babies.

After talking with her, I spoke to my Dad about what we need vs. what we want. If you didn't already know this, things in Israel are EXPENSIVE! Holy cow! We have six bottles and two pacifiers. My Dad says that's not enough... we can always re-stock later, right?

Last night, I decided I needed to get out of the house. I'm kinda on bed rest... I say kinda because I'm allowed to do things and go places but I need to take it easy. I spend most of my day in bed playing with the iPad... so I let myself go to the grocery store. I noticed two things:

1. I have no patience for the grocery store. Too crowded. Too hot. Very annoying!!
2. 5 shopping bags should not come out to 250nis ($66) - sh*t's expensive here!!!

We noticed a "sale" - 2 "large" packages of diapers for 84NIS ($22)... that is hardly what I call a sale. Craig was ready to take advantage of the sale and stock up but you can't buy size 4 diapers for a baby that hasn't even come out yet!

Photo Courtesy of GiftBasketsPlus.com

Upon venting to a friend, she asked me a very interesting question "so, what do you recommend as a gift for a bris?" Here was my answer:

1. Gift cards - in America, you can get them to Toys R Us, Target, Walmart... anywhere that sells baby stuff. You can add it on as a "little something extra" or just get a bunch of people together and make it a large gift. In Israel, get a gift card from SuperPharm or NewPharm... or better yet, look into IsraCard, a WishUCard from CAL, or a LeumiCard from Bank Leumi. I think you can also pick up gift cards from Shufersal. I did a simple Google search and found quite a few sites that offer gift cards. I do not recommend gift cards to Golf, Shilav, or individual stores where you are limited on what you can buy.
2. DIY Baby Bath Kit - I'll tell you right now, this works VERY well in Israel and the US. It consists of baby shampoo, baby body wash, lotion, baby oil, some washcloths, a baby towel or two, and diaper creams. You can put a gift basket together for less than 200NIS ($50). If you're shopping in the US, use coupons. If you're shopping in Israel, find some gift kits that contain the shampoos, lotions, and washes - and break them up. 
3. DIY Mommy Relaxation Kit - giving birth is hard work (so I've been told), so don't forget about the Mom... she will often forget to take care of herself. A pampering kit containing lotions, a gift certificate for a manicure, and maybe even a Groupon deal for a night out with the hubby really helps her keep her sanity. Also keep in mind that we've been in maternity clothes for a long time... a gift card to H&M or another favorite store REALLY helps as we're transitioning back into fashionable post-maternity clothes. We're also less likely to spend money on ourselves right now, we'd rather spend it on baby-stuff.
4. Baby clothes - Sure, onesies are cute but babies also need socks, leggings, sleepers, and hats. We have 3 pairs of baby socks that will fit the baby for now... and many others that will fit him later. If you're going to buy baby clothes, remember that we get a lot of newborn clothes - so think in advance. Clothing for 3-6 months, 6-9 months, and 1 year are often overlooked. If you buy clothing for the baby that's intended for later months, make sure it's seasonally appropriate. If a baby is born in Winter, getting him a sweatshirt for 6 months-time is probably not the best idea.

Other ideas: baby formula (if the Mom isn't breastfeeding), pacifiers, baby carriers, bottles, bottle cleaners, play mats for the baby, baby bouncy-seats, and alcohol (for the parents). 

If you're buying for a friend who lives overseas, Etsy is AMAZING! You can buy one-of-a-kind baby clothes, blankets, carriers, and baby bath kits for reasonable prices... and they'll ship it to your friend!!

In truth, we'll take whatever you give us! I got so many amazing things at our baby shower and all of it will go to good use. As I packed my hospital bag last night, I had a hard time picking out an outfit for the baby to come home in because everything is TOO CUTE!! Decisions, decisions...

As we speak, I'm being reminded to make food for Craig so he doesn't starve for the 2.5 days I'm in the hospital and for the week after the baby is born. We're not having a public bris (sorry!) but we are encouraging our friends to come by and visit whenever they want! We'll likely need the company...

Meet Hormonal Hilly

It's been a while since I wrote something personal and perhaps a little meaningful. I've had writer's block for the last week and it's been driving me nuts. I'm usually really careful about what I post on the blog - certain family members don't like reading super-personal stuff but, today, they're gonna have to deal. My hormones are getting the best of me and I've been in a foul mood for the last few days.

Do you ever just know when you and your partner/friend/spouse are about to have a BIG fight? OK, I kind of feel like that now. Right now, I know I feel cold and distant - it's not my usual demeanor. Last weekend, Craig said something to me in an off-tone on the phone and it sent me into hysterics. Thanks, hormones, thanks. Last night I got upset because I was making latkes (I'm trying out new recipes for you!) and I asked him to peel the potatoes. By the time he was ready to peel them, I was almost done with them. The problem? He thought I was done peeling and I thought he ignored my request.

Ladies and gentleman, I'm 34 weeks pregnant and I spend a lot of time doing stuff I shouldn't be doing because it's easier for me to do them. Peeling potatoes is not one of them. I'm actually allergic to raw potatoes. Lucky me, right?

Anyway, normal Hilly wouldn't have batted an eyelash at any of this but hormonally charged Hilly is a different story. I wound up cleaning our bathroom (REALLY cleaning... although it doesn't look like it). I even de-crapped the shower-head (hot water and citric acid works wonders!!) - but I did all of this because I was in a crappy mood. I only clean when I'm in a bad mood... and when company is coming.

Anyway, I read a really great post yesterday about letting your anger flow and the importance of not holding it in. You can read the post here. I took my anger out on a shower-head and my bathroom sink. Do I feel better? No. This is how I know it's hormones.

My husband is an amazing person, so I really can't be mad at him for not peeling a potato or two... but tell that to my hormones. Craig's been great - even when he's stressing about school and work and the baby on the way...

So, what am I doing to deal with this situation? First, I'm acknowledging that this is ALL hormones. It's not an excuse but it's a start! Then I try to explain to the hubby that it's hormonally related - so tread lightly. When I need to cry, I cry. When I need to vent, I vent. When I need to let go of anger, I tap into myself and dig deep to recognize WHY I'm angry - then I do something like clean my room or bake something. Or I blog.

What do YOU do to relieve your anger and stress? I'm all ears!