Someone smart once told me that when you're in a rut and you're a writer, the best thing you can do is just write. So, this is my little social experiment for the day. I'm just going to write because I'm a mess of emotions.Last week I was given 3 days leave from work by my bosses to take care of the personal stuff that's consuming my head. For a while I've felt like the walls were closing in and the world was falling on top of me. I get like this every once in a while. I get anxious, clumsy, mean, rude, and incredibly short tempered. Over the past few months, I haven't been happy.
I'm a very happy, upbeat person.
That being said- being the OPPOSITE of what I normally am is killing me. My soul feels dead. I decided to make a few changes in my life - I finally decided what I wanted to DO with my life - but I'm stuck at an impasse because I can't do it RIGHT.NOW.
The sadness consumes me sometimes and, on a day like today (Memorial Day in Israel), I'm trying to be upbeat so I am not consumed by sadness. I often write about how I work with a life coach named Joanna. She's helping me through some tough times and helping me overcome my fears.
Every week I pick out at least one thing I'm excited for - not counting the weekends. So, this week I have a very short list:
- Yom Ha'Atzmaut (Israeli Independence Day) - a day that reminds me not to take freedom for granted because, in an instant, your daily freedoms can be gone.
- A free teleclass on 5/12 called "3 Essential Woman Wisdom Tools for Success in Your Dream Project". I'm excited for this teleclass because A) it's free and b) I want to start working on my future right now but I have a lot of fears to overcome. This class will help me learn the tools that will help me overcome those fears.
What are you excited for this week? I want to hear your thoughts!
3 comments:
I really like your blog!! And I share that same sensation -- some of the changes I want to make are going to take time -- and thinking about that gets me thinking what if? what if I never get around to goal X? what if I can never afford goal X? So if it helps to know you're not alone, you're most definitely NOT. So, that said, what am I excited about? I'm excited that I finally got started on my current freelance editing project - I had been procrastinating b/c as with every project, I worry that I won't find anything to correct (always a worry that does NOT end up being true!) and the income this freelance stuff brings in is making a little tiny dent in the void left by my husband's lack of employment. For that I'm grateful. Take care!!
That is definitely something amazing to look forward to! I can cross Independence Day off my list - I spent the morning at the beach. Not too shabby, right? Now I'm gearing up for the teleclass! My week is looking better and better - I hope yours does too!
Hey Hil-
When I was younger, I heard the saying "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself." I never really understood what it meant until much later in life. Fear is a power thing. Fear can force you to study for Exams. Fear even has the power to stop you from going out and doing what you want to do. For me, being anxious in nature, fear has a physical response on my body giving me chest pains. The reality of Fear (no matter if it is real or imagined) is that we can overcome it. We can look at fear in the face and say "I'm gonna take you on today because I'm tired of you standing in my way." I believe you have that power. I believe you can face anything because you are a strong, intelligent and passionate woman. Each day is a challenge and know that it is ok to fail. Getting through the fear...is what makes the reward so much sweeter.
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