Mind Your F*cking Manners

Sometimes being pregnant is awesome! When the baby kicks in funny places, it reminds you that you're about to bring a new life into this world and that little life will have his or her own personality and he or she will take this world by storm.

Yet, there are times where you're reminded that being pregnant makes you a target in this world. While some people stare, others ask questions ("how far along are you?" "are you excited?"), and there's a third set that think you're public property. They pet you and speak to you as if you don't have feelings.

I get annoyed by the last set of people. You can stare at me all you want - you can ask me a ton of questions, but don't speak to me as if I don't have feelings. And don't touch me. Ever. Most preggos, like me, don't like being touched - and I have a responsive child.

"What does THAT mean?"

It means that when you touch my belly, little nugget kicks - and he kicks hard. He often kicks me in my ribs (just like his big brother). Yet, I can politely smile or say something when someone touches me. I'm usually quite polite when someone touches my belly.

When am I not polite? When people open their mouths. When they say things like "are you SURE you're not having twins?" (No, sorry, there's still only 1 kid in there) "are you even going to make it to your due date??" (How the HELL would I know that? Am I g-d??) "Wow, you're so big!" (No sh*t, Sherlock - I'm my own atmosphere right now)

Words hurt and people are idiots. Pregnant women are sensitive - so mind your manners.