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Monday, November 28, 2011

Dreams, Employment, and Schmutz

I'm feeling kinda low today. I kinda sorta, well really I did, f*ck up on a project I was working on. I accidentally omitted two amazing participants that helped with the Gratitude Project. Mistakes happen but it kills me that two amazing people were accidentally overlooked.

I take stuff like this to heart.

There's a lot of stuff going on in my life right now and I feel a little on the edge. I have a lot of schmutz in my head right now.

We have some family stuff going on that I won't elaborate on because it's not my story to tell but it's definitely taking a toll on me and the hubby.

I'm still going through my year of firsts after the death of my grandmother. I'm also going through my year of lasts because we'll (hopefully) be leaving Israel in the summer so that I can return home to the US and study for my Master's degree. A lot of the "hopefully" is dependent on Craig's green card. I pray he gets one and, just so you know, it's a BIG fallacy to say that if you marry an American, you automatically get citizenship. You don't and it's not guaranteed.

Moving back home scares me. I'll be honest, there's a lot of people back in Detroit that I don't like. Moving back also scares me because I built a life here and now I'm abandoning that life and the people that go along with it. It's a scary thought!

Moving home also terrifies me because I've been independent for so long and now I'll be dependent on my parents for a lot. We'll be living with my Mom and Stepdad plus their four dogs, my two dogs, and the baby. It's a short term solution so we can save money and Craig can get acclimated to life in the D.

I'm also scared because work is hard to come by. I've always been crafty when it comes to finding work but if I had my dream job - life would be amazing! My dream job would be to work on social media for the Holocaust Memorial Center in Farmington Hills. I'd love the chance to educate people about the Holocaust through social networking means. Since I'll be getting an MA in Holocaust history, I'd like to use it to educate the younger generations in an unconventional way. Has this job been created? Sure - the Holocaust Memorial Museum in DC is currently looking for someone to do this very job - I just can't be that person because a) I don't want to live in DC and b) I would need to live in DC.

This is a goal I want to work towards. Social networking helps companies make money and bring in new customers. Why should the companies have all the fun? So, I'm torn. Do I go after my dream job or try to find something that pays well even though it may not be what I want to do?

Decisions ... decisions ...

3 comments:

Selena said...

Don't be so hard on yourself :) It sounds like your heart and mind are in the right place.
I know what you mean about green card/immigration stuff. I worked on cruise ships for years & fell in love then married an Israel. We decided to move to Canada (where I'm from) and it was the hardest 2 years until he got his permanent residence- but also wonderful 'cause we had a baby after the 1st yr! Long story short things turned out well- hubby has a great job, our relationship survived and we have 2 beautiful babies.
Wishing you good luck & thanks for sharing your story :)

Rebecca Dolores said...

Wow, MA in Holocaust History, huh? Sounds like something I would totally get sucked into. I love the history! I have been fascinated by it since I was a little girl. I still remember my first trip to the Simon Wiesenthal museum here in California like it was yesterday. I can't wait to take my children there when they are old enough. Also, I had a chance to visit more of a "grass roots" museum in Virginia when I was visiting there a few years ago. One of my favorite subjects in history!

Sorry to hear about the negative things going on. Try to keep your mind light and peaceful for that baby! :)

Jen said...

I just got a chance to start catching up on your blog and I will admit this one made me selfishly happy. I am so happy at the idea that you will be closer.

As far as the green card goes if you need help let me know my sister is a paralegal at an immigration law firm here.

For you dream job, I think you would be amazing at it and would bring so much insight to it as well. So don't give up on that dream. That being said it doesn't mean that you have given up on your dream if you take a job elsewhere to make certain things happen for your family. You can still be working towards that dream.

If I can help in any way please let me know.

Sending Love & Hugs!

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