Can't I Just Be Angry?

When you're pregnant, you seem to get somewhat of a free pass at things. Granted, that free pass comes with strangers touching your belly, telling you how you should parent in the future, and generally just pestering the hell out of you. But you get a free pass at things.

You seem to get a 'get out of jail free card' when you're constantly hungry, tired, cranky, or just want to clean and organize stuff. People say "oh, it's because you're pregnant! Your hormones are going crazy!"

Can't I just be hungry?

This might be me when I'm older.

Is it possible that maybe I just didn't get a good night's sleep because my dogs jumped out of bed 8 million times and Craig ventured over to my side a little too often?

Can't I just have a bad day or get upset about things?

Perhaps my house (or office) is just too untidy for my liking!

What the hell!!! Why does everything revolve around my hormones!!

I get it, you're probably thinking "lady, you're hormones are out of whack right now - calm down!" but sometimes it's not my hormones. Sometimes I'm just hungry because I forgot to eat, or I'm tired because I was up late being stressed out over stupid things at work! Maybe I'm cranky because someone in the office went too far with me. And sometimes I really do just want to clean my kitchen so I can bake on clean and sparkly surfaces...it has nothing to do 'nesting'.

There's a bissel of truth to this, right?

Yeah, I totally skipped over that nesting phase. When I clean it's usually because I took too much sudafed by accident and I'm high as a kite (but at least my nose isn't stuffy).

When is it OK for a pregnant woman to just be angry without hormones becoming a factor? It's as if I can't get frustrated about something without someone reminding me that I'm growing a life (trust me, I haven't forgotten that factor).

I'm not gonna lie - the last few weeks at work have been challenging and growing a kid ain't easy - my blood pressure is through the roof (which is weird for me because my blood pressure is really low normally - no matter how pissy I get). I nearly got another 'get out of jail free' card at the OB's office when she wanted to pull me out of work early (before my scheduled maternity leave date) because work was causing me distress.

Here's the thing - I love my job. I love what I do and I love the company I work for but nothing's perfect and I get upset. I get angry. That anger has nothing to do with my pregnancy or hormones but it DOES affect my pregnancy. And there's no telling me to 'chill' - I do that. I meditate. I used to do yoga (but now I look like I ate a watermelon whole - so that's not happening). I practice my breathing. I compartmentalize. But sometimes I'm just pissed and you can't tell me to calm down.

But my pissy-ness isn't caused by hormones. Can't I just be angry?