In my young age, I spent a lot of time counseling couples on respecting each other and learning how to interact with each other properly. I'm not a counselor (although I am an ordained minister) but people come to me because I'm blunt...sometimes too blunt. So, when I saw a title surrounding the parent-child dynamic, I jumped at the opportunity. Why? Because I want to impart some wisdom on people.
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| These little faces will soon be big... |
Y'all know Yoav is only 7 months old but I have a plethora of nieces and nephews to base this article on - yet, I want to ask you for your help. What do YOU do to help improve or sustain your relationship with your children? What did your parents do to improve their relationship with you?
Before I head out to lunch with my Dad, I'll leave you with this little story. Once upon a time, I move to Israel and my parents didn't really speak to me much. Every Friday night when I spoke to my grandmother, she'd leave the conversation by telling me that my actions were foolish, even if I was following my dream. One Friday night, I made dinner for my Aunt and Uncle in Israel and my aunt decided she had enough of the radio silence between me and my parents - so she phoned my dad to tell him about the meal I made. It bridged the gap. Fast forward a year later, I was living back in Detroit and I was miserable. A year after that, I was back in Israel and happier than I'd ever been. I phoned my dad to wish him a 'Gut Shabbos' and he said 'you sound happier' - and I was. I was MUCH happier because I was where I needed to be at that moment and my parents gave me the space I needed to grow. A few years after that, I'm living back in Detroit and I'm happy.
2 comments:
We've got twins but this can apply to any parent who has more than one child. It's important to give you child one-on-one time with each parent. Each parent separately and both parents together. Do an activity that they love, not just something you love. Get down to their level. Ask them about their day. Take a real interest. PUT DOWN YOUR CRACKBERRY and just be present. And tell them I love you a thousand times a day. A kid can never hear that too much.
Not a parent yet as you know but I do have a pearl of wisdom passed down to me from my parents in actions rather than words.
A lot of the debate revolving spanking children focuses on the concept of conditional love. Many claim that a spanking teaches a child that they are only loved if they do good and are reprimanded if behaving badly.
While the point I am making is not whether or not one should spank their child it is to make sure that parents remember to love their children no matter their method of discipline.
As a naughty little shit, my backside and my parents palms were always good friends but in spite of this my father never missed a night in which he would lie in bed with me as I fell asleep and say softly "you are the best boy in the world and I love you so much"
Today I am a decent person because I knew that no matter if I upset my parents and it was their duty to discipline me, there was never any question that their love for me was unconditional.
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