Embracing My Geek Self

Since going back to work after giving birth, I've gone through a myriad of emotions. I'm happy to be back in the swing of things but SO sad not to be with Yoav every day. I mean, c'mon, look at this face:

Tell me I'm not cute...I dare you!

It's hard to be at work when all I want to do is spend time with that little face. He's growing SO quickly! But HE is not what this post is about. This post is about me and how I've gone from hearing bad voices to accepting my post-baby body and mindset.

I used to hear voices and they would tell me "you're not good enough" "you're so fat" "you're going to be a terrible mom". Ever heard those voices before? All I kept hearing was "you're not worthy of anything". Lately, my confidence has risen dramatically because I've been working on the recognition of my self-worth.

Yet, those voices were loud and clear up until earlier this month. What changed? I started taking care of me. I started doing little things like reading for enjoyment; polishing my nails when Yoav is asleep; and I even bought two new kick-ass pairs of shoes. They were little steps that made me feel more human. I realized that for 90% of the time I was home with Yoav, I lived in yoga pants and gym shoes because it was "easy" but, guess what: LIFE ISN'T EASY! It takes effort to live the life you want to live! Even Hollywood beauties don't wake up so beautiful in the morning - it takes work to make them look like they do.

But that's all physical. To me, feeling good on the inside is an active choice we make. You have two options when you wake up in the morning - scowl and be pissed off a the world or recognize that it's a new day and be happy. I choose to be happy. What do you choose? Just like the physical aspects of our lives, the internal feelings take work. You an make a choice to be happy but to find something resembling inner peace, it takes work. Here's what I do to help find my center:

• When I'm in the thick of it and nothing seems to go right - I take a moment to sit, close my eyes, breathe and say "this too shall pass". I don't always say it out loud but I DO say it.
• When I feel overwhelmed, I get up and take a short 5 minute break to do something else.
• When I'm feeling sluggish, I put on some upbeat Motown music and groove to the beat ... as I get stuff done. 
• When I'm feeling down on myself, I repeat this:

I embrace my dorkiness...do you?