Judaism teaches you that renewal and rejuvenation are incredibly important for a well balanced life. The New Year is the perfect time of year to try to "recover" from what happened the year before. The downside? I'm still recovering. Yom Kippur (the one day of the year most of my friends sleep for 18+ hours) is usually spent in the synagogue on my feet asking G-d for forgiveness. This year... well, I'm a bad Jew and I spent it feeling horrific but trying to use my time wisely. If wasn't going to be in the synagogue (Shul), I at least wanted to take some time to reflect on how I can be a better person in the near future.
Last year was rough. We spent the first half of the year trying to get pregnant and just before I was to start fertility therapy, I got pregnant! YAY! I'm now spending the second part of my year wondering why I didn't adopt. I'm only slightly kidding. I listen to my pregnant friends in the U.S. go on and on and on about how awesome pregnancy is and how much they love it. No offense, girls, I am not with you on this one. It's SOOOO cool that I have a kid growing inside of me. Ya know what's not cool? Leg cramps; back spasms; carpal tunnel; tendinitis; pinched nerves; broken teeth; flared sinuses; and swollen body parts. All of this is due to me growing a child.
I have one girlfriend who is pregnant and feels my pain. I feel hers, too. Neither of us feels pretty (although she really is stunning). Our hormones are out of whack.
Aside from learning the downsides of being pregnant, you already know that my grandmother died during the summer. Little things remind me of her and it breaks my heart just to think about her. I've been very DIY-y lately and I often wonder if my grandmother was anything like this when she was my age. I guess I can't really ask her because she's no longer here. Instead, I turn to my other grandmother who thinks I'm nuts for not just buying the product I'm attempting to replicate.
So, anyway, this year I did a little self-reflection. I was in a sh*t mood all day due to all of my "reflection". Who knew that was coming?!? My conclusions? I need to be nicer to my husband; more tolerant of people I don't really like but have to see; less grouchy (in general); and I need to move more. I physically need to move my body more often.I always felt better about myself when I moved around - be it through dance, pilates, the gym...etc. I just need to move.
If you had a day of reflection and repentance, what would you repent about and what would you reflect on?
1 comments:
I personally spent the day reflecting on burned/blown up bridges from the last year and accepting that it was inevitable. Then I decided that I needed to stop screwing around with my life like I was still 21 and get on with the business of achieving my goals. Then that thought pretty much overwhelmed my brain and I completely shut down. Yay me. In the days after Yom Kippur? It's easier to focus and stay the course. There's always silver linings in this life -- just gotta wait for them sometimes.
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